the More the Merrier
exploring the merits evolved complex union
In the sixth year of association, communitarians make a concerted effort to align their lifestyle and love-style with the principles and practices of ‘Liberated Loving’ which centres on evolving sexual relational expression, and also understanding and progressing the sexual psyche. For many, examining and modifying how we relate through intimacy, will rock the very fibre of their being. This radical and most necessary overhaul of the sexual-self as well as conscious upgrading of the modes of sexual relating, is certainly not for the faint-hearted.
Still, for the majority of communitarians who have remained in association for 5 years, this part of the journey toward ‘communal union’ is eagerly awaited and keenly entered upon.
Evolving Relational Expression
For those who are older, it is likely to take some time and considerable effort to ‘undo’ learned behaviours surrounding issues such as the need to recognise and overcome the relationship destroying traits of jealousy, dominance, dishonesty, sloth, selfishness, cowardice, hiding and voyeurism. The above mentioned are but a few of inherent obstacles that stand in the way of creating lasting and deeply satisfying intimate relationships that underpin life-sustaining communal union.
For those who have not passed through the various stages of aligning with the principles and practices of sharing all with all, it can be difficult to understand how or why communitarians seek to live a life of ‘Love-in-Action’ through sharing everything with those who share their same ethics and values. Regardless of age, gender or ethnicity, communitarians centre the design of their lifestyles and love-styles to give and receive genuine love and affection to and from all those practicing the principles of communal union.
Unfortunately, the majority of those who are ignorant of the ancient and enduring ethical and spiritual foundations of ‘sharing all-with-all’ that underpin the very foundations of civilizations, old and new, often laugh in the faces of communitarians who declare they are seeking to enter ‘complex union’. Many people think communitarians are ‘only joking’ when they state their goal in life is to ‘love’ and be ‘loved’ by as many evolved souls as physically possible.
If and when communitarians are taken seriously, it is not uncommon for outsiders to ask, ‘how is it possible to be intimate with more than one person at a time; and why would anyone want to?’
Across the board communitarians recognise that the morality of ‘sharing all-with-all’ has fallen by the way-side. While this basic tenet has traditionally underpinned the majority of Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Jain and New Age alternative faiths and religious practices, its standards and practical application has been ‘put asunder’ by the interests and domination of masters of commerce.
It is easy enough to understand people’s initial horror at the idea of sharing ‘everything’ – and we do mean ‘EVERYTHING’ with a multitude of others. However, it is to understood, the only real objection by those within mainstream societies to ‘communal union’, is to the sharing of ‘sexual pleasure’ – nothing else. It is ‘the sensual sharing’ side of ‘complex union’ that has those who stand at a distance and judge us, up in arms. It always is; because in reality, most of us have no hesitation sharing our meals with 10, 20, 30, a hundred or 300 others. Often times weddings, banquets, religious and cultural festivals are arranged for those kinds of numbers.
The more the merrier, right? Even gatherings of 3000 thousand or more, get most people excited. It is usual for people of all ages ranges and cultures to want nothing more than to be part of it such diversity and stimulating interaction. To be invited to attend such large gatherings, is the joy of joys that sees the majority of us counting the hours till we can be there, and keeps us up at night – pacing the floor, asking ourselves ‘What on earth will we wear!’
Yet to entertain the idea of participating in the giving and receiving of sensual pleasure which includes manual stimulation of the male and female genitalia that involves more than one – more than 2 – more than 3, more than 30, or even more than 300… or heaven forbid, the coming together of more than 3000 consenting, educated and evolved adults – is considered by those outside the principles and practice of ‘complex union’, to be an act of sheer vulgarity that is completely off the socially-acceptable ‘Reciter Scale’ – abnormal, shamefully, perverted and therefore perversely unthinkable!
At first glance it is not hard to fathom that the majority of those conditioned to colonial Westminster conscription through public and private education systems and coerced via massive corporate brainwashing – more commonly known as commercial advertising, will most assuredly dismiss the idea of ‘complex union’ as a completely heathen uncivilized fantasy. Even in this day and age of so-called sexual liberation, liberation from the debt-ridden design and expectation to conform to maintaining union with only one other mate, is for most unthinkable. Exclusively depending on that ‘one and only’ conscript to provide all of one’s material, economic and emotional security, together with sexual fulfilment, forever after, is still held out as the holy-of-holy societal Grails – and therefore never objectively examined, nor put asunder.
Beyond Exclusive Coupling
As dysfunctional and socially, economically and environmentally unsustainable as exclusive coupling and singular marriage and de facto relationships continues to prove itself to be, the world-over, it appears untouchable. However, despite its iron-grip on societies both east and west, throughout history, a few brave-souls have dared to challenge the status-quo by experimenting with alternative narratives and organisation of intimate relating.
Way-back in 1836 and for the decades after, the avant-garde and self-appointed Christian Minister ‘John Noyes’ not only floated the idea of ‘complex marriage’ far and wide across the American States, he also began and managed to recruit more than 300 men and women to live out what came to be called, ‘Bible Communism’ at ‘Oneida’ in New York State. Needless to say, the majority of the then ultra-conservative population severely castigated this truly spiritually-enlightened man as well as outright condemned those who came together under his leadership to ‘share all-with-all’ including intimacy.
Despite harsh condemnation from those surrounding the community practicing liberated loving, history records that more than 300 adult professing-Christian men and women, joined in union, sharing their everyday lives as well as intimacy with all others who believed as they did, in the Bible-founded precepts of ‘True Christian Love’. The community at Oneida was established on a constitution that stated ‘Christian Love’ must be devoid of all jealousy, discrimination and exclusiveness.
Through committed love for one, no more or less than for all inclusively, the community at Oneida, grew to a membership of over 300. Several branch communities were also established in Brooklyn, New York; Wallingford, Connecticut; Newark, New Jersey; Cambridge and Putney, Vermont. The formal communal organization began in 1844, practicing complex marriage and male continence while striving for perfection which they believed possible due to the example of Christ.
Creating Unions based on the Principles & Practice of Monetary & Familial Equality
More recently in history, Jud Presmont and his followers experimented with communal marriage, achieving a substantial measure of success with the last incarnation of the San Francisco Kerista group lasting from 1971 to 1991. The various forms of Kerista’s experimental complex union, endured a good twenty years, which is much longer than most modern American marriages last today. The diverse group of individuals lead by the insightful and charismatic Jud Presmont founded ‘the Kerista religion’ in the late 1950’s in NYC and codified it in the 1970’s in San Francisco on the principles of monetary and familial equality.
In many ways, the Kerista group had its ‘act together’ more than any other shared-love group that experimented with ‘complex union’ since John Noyes lead his group with a shared vision of sharing all with all, male sexual continence and the intention and commitment to perfect their personalities. Similar to the Oneida complex marriage community, the Kerista group upheld a routine of regular ‘Group Therapy’ intended to overcome the negative and socially destructive inhibitors to social harmony.
The Gestalt sessions focused on raising awareness and ‘evolving beyond’ anti-social behaviours, such as: anger, arrogance, envy, greed, salacious lust, sloth, impatience, intolerance, ingratiating manner, wastefulness, worry, ridicule, vindictiveness, falsehood, fear, gluttony, gossip, hypocrisy, narcissism, pessimism, pride and profanity. Those involved in the Kerista complex unions, considered these group gatherings vital to developing a deeper practice and utilization of ‘Utopian Psychology.’
Defining standards of Social Contract that establish Group Unity, Peace & Harmony
In 1979 the Kerista Group listed 26 Social Contacts, which when practiced by the individual members, was expected to culminate in the greatest possible social harmony of the group. However by 1983 these social standards, near quadrupled to number 86 Standards of Social Contract; all of which can be found generously shared and expounded by Even Eve on the Group’s website – www.kerista.com
Through these valuable recorded and shared examples, communitarians are keenly aware that ‘Complex Union’ cannot exist, nor be sustained without devoting considerable personal and group time and effort to establishing similar facilitation of social, emotional and psycho-sexual development. Both on an individual and group level, communitarians recognise that without commitment to continual relational improvement, any attempts at achieving arrangements of inclusive love or complex union, will be doomed to very short lifespans.
Communitarians entering upon aligning lifestyle and love-style with the principles and practices of complex union, are well aware that many groups come together based upon the mistaken belief that putting their combined energies into chasing the perfect piece of land or housing to set up shop, is the first and most important component of creating cooperative living. As history and abundant testament reveal, chasing ‘place’ before ‘purpose’ at the outset of forming ‘complex union’ is none other than a tried-and-true recipe for failure.
In contrast, those that have succeeded in establishing long-lasting, deeply satisfying and supportive ‘communal unions’ in many and various forms, stand as testament to the necessary to first develop the principles and practices of social harmony, until these are known and practiced in a form that is near to perfect by the individual members in a group context. Without a firm foundation supplied by instruction and installation of ‘an evolved social-contract’, the entire venture can do no other than collapse, eventually.
Communitarians admit the idea of ‘evolved complex union’ that includes manual stimulation of the male and female genitalia, blows people’s minds. Nonetheless, we put it out there as a highly practical and realistic remedy for all that ails the world socially, economically and environmentally